So it's officially been 2 months since I started HRT. I thought I would drop by and give an update.
My depression is starting to lift and I have felt a little more content. But I have noticed a spike in anger versus a spike in anxiety. I don't really know which is better of the two. :/
Anger is easier to control since I can take out my frustrations at the gym.
There has been physical changes. I have lost a lot of fat but have gained a few pounds. I was about 158lbs when I started T and now I am about 176lbs. I've noticed that my face is slimmer and my biceps and triceps are more defined.
I am going to be one hairy mf'er, though. I stopped shaving and have already been told my legs look like a man's legs. Already getting darker hair on/under my chin and under my sideburns. I still look too feminine so I will continue to shave until it fills in more. More peach fuzz on my cheeks and jaw line. I did not miss the acne. :<
My voice has dropped a little. When I sing, I can't hold a not or change from note to note without my voice breaking. I couldn't sing to begin with so now it's even worse. xD
But it does crack me up.
There is good news and bad news at work.
The bad:We are currently overstaffed and they are asking for people to take VTO (voluntary time off). It will be for 6 weeks and is unpaid. They said anyone working in cranes or the cycle counters will not be given that option because they are needed and will not be training other people to do those jobs. What they didn't say(and I was told by a coworker) is that any trainers will not get that option either because we are bringing in over 200 people in the next 2 months and we need to train them. I am a trainer for packing but being on the 3-day shift, I don't know how useful we will be. I know just about everything in packaging and have been in picking and at the DMS, VAS, sorting and have done a little in receiving and shipping.
The good: I asked on Monday about training for forklift operators and on Tuesday I was told to go the the training room. We had a four hour training class for forklift safety. While I will learn to operate a forklift they will also be training me on the picking cranes. I'm hoping this will all happen before the VTO kicks in so I can secure my job.
So along with my full time job, I am also looking into a part time job. Something not as complex. I only work three days a week so I have fours days of being lazy or visiting my mom who is 120+ miles away. I kind of need a secondary income because of all the debt I've collected over the past year.
I have a $250 camper payment, $450 lot rent, $210 personal loan that was used to pay off store credit cards(which I "accidentally" used again...), $80 combined insurance for my car and camper and I still owe my uncle $550. On top of all that, my medical bill is $900 and rising, I'm trying to make $100 payments on. Not gonna happen if I get temporarily laid off for 6 weeks. Oh yeah, and I need to eat, my cats need to eat and I need gas in my car. :/
Since my depression is lifting a bit, I have found a little motivation to work on art. Nothing major. Mostly sketches and ideas. I haven't gotten the urge to use my tablet yet. I'm selling the Intuos 4. It's barely been used but has a light scratch down the front of it. (inquiries, please PM me)
I bought it thinking it would be better than the BambooFun on I started with. Turns out, it was too big and bulky and I couldn't get used to it. So I bought a $99 one that is about as big as the first one I had.
I have not given up on art just yet. I still would like to get into tattooing but have yet to find get an apprenticeship from anyone. Either they just found someone or they don't teach other people. :/
Since I have been away, I adopted a kitten and named her JiJi and I have already rehomed her. But with a few good causes. 1. She was way too rambunctious and destructive, trying to climb the walls and putting holes in the couch(this camper isn't paid off yet), 2. I didn't feel right leaving her in a cage while I was at work and I didn't want to leave her unsupervised with my other cats(who didn't like her), 3. I wasn't ready for a kitten but she did help with my depression, 4. She is now helping a "kitten-loving" dog with the loss of his mate. The owner said she was happy to see her dog back to his normal self.
So, there is my update.
I also restarted my GoFundMe campaign to start saving up for top surgery. I deleted the other one a few days after I made it because of depression and because of the anxiety I got from thinking about how my family and friends would react to it. So here is a link to the new one I made today.
You don't have to contribute but I would appreciate it if you shared it---> www.gofundme.com/3rnuqguc